Gentleness: What is it, really?

God has been drawing my heart to meditate on Colossians 3:12-17, but especially v.12, which says,

"Put on, then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience..."

The ESV Bible uses the word, "meekness," which is a synonym for gentleness. Though Gentleness can be defined as being an "absence of bad temper," it is so much more.

Galatians 6:1-2 Instructs us that, "if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

A "spirit of gentleness" is more an unwarranted and intentional kindness. In the body of Christ, believers need to be restoring each other more, and spending less time tearing one another down.

Too often I have opened myself up to another believer, admitting a sin or struggle, only to have them tell me how wrong it is and why it is wrong. By the same token, I have heard the things that another believer is engaged in and condemned them in my heart.

If we, as a body, are to encourage one another and build one another up, while not disregarding the importance and holiness of God's law, then we need to approach one another as a fellow sinner, with true compassion and intentional kindness.

When we are "restoring" someone, we are not merely doing God's dirty work for Him. The Holy Spirit is what brings true conviction and repentance to a human being. To restore someone is to bring them back to where they one were, to gently remind them of something God has already taught them.

I have many examples of when I have not restored people gently, but perhaps an example of when I did is more useful. I had a friend who was entering a relationship with a young man who was not a Christian, and I had coincidentally been in the area when the young man was casually discussing the relationship with a friend of his. He made it clear that it was not a "serious relationship" and that he was still looking for his "dream girl."

I prayed about the situation, armed myself with scripture, and set out, hoping my words would be guarded and determined to save my friend from an ill romance. I asked her about her relationship with the young man, and she had the same casual attitude that he did about the whole thing. I asked her what she thought that God had to say about a Christian dating someone who was not a Christian, referring to the ever-typical "unequally yolked" argument.

Instead of anger, she reacted calmly by saying that yes, she remembered that, but that it was only something she was trying out for a while. I warned her to be careful, and not to get her heart broken. Now, what she did with that is between her and God. I had spoken the words that God had placed on my heart to say, and no more, for once in my life.

I prayed for her fervently since that time, but did not bring it up again--she was well aware of what she was doing, and I am neither the Judge nor in control. When I approached her, God gave me the grace to speak from a place of loving concern, not judgment. Most importantly, God gave me the grace to let it go, and not continue to press her to "make the right decision."

Gentleness is not something you can fake--it is a true gift of the Holy Spirit. Are you speaking to others gently today? Are you sensitive to where they are in their walk with God, and speaking to them on that level? Is your heart calloused, and do you need God to soften it? I need Him to soften mine many times each day, and I pray He will do the same for you.