Women, the home, church leadership...

How do I begin? I suppose I can simply tell you that I don't have this all figured out. But I want to share with you my thoughts, after many years, much researching, and many heated conversations. As a woman, I have constantly wondered: what is my purpose? In the world? In the church? Am I doing it wrong?

Many use Biblical passages in a way that makes me feel that women must be less than men, and should therefore devalue themselves. Women already feel that way! And I do not find this to be a Biblical standpoint at all. I am not about to go all "crazy Christian feminist" on you. I want to present a small case of Biblical womanhood and how it can relate to Biblical manhood.

I am of the persuasion that God gives mandates to preserve a right relationship between men and women which reflects his purpose in creating them. In the creation account, both male and female are given dominion over all creation and commanded to multiply. They are to work together. Some have argued that, as Adam was created first, he is therefore superior to Eve. However, all the rest of creation was made before people, so this argument does not seem to hold.

There is something undeniably unique about the way God creates Eve, however. Everything else in creation was made from nothing--or in Adam's case, was made from dirt. Why does God make Eve from Adam? Why does he choose Eve to be the future bearer of the messiah (indirectly)? She is both bound to Adam and to God in the first few episodes of the world.

So what does this mean? Ultimately, Eve is a part of Adam. When they come together, they are recognizing God's purposeful created bond between them. Eve owes her existence to Adam's physical sacrifice. Adam desires Eve's company. It is not good for man to be alone. God created Eve for Adam's companionship, but also for something so much more. She is his own flesh.

How does this inform ordination/ women in the home? First of all, in dealing with issues of gender, I would make a distinction between arguments about authority and arguments about roles.  I want to talk about this issue not from a "who's in charge" stance, but from a "what purpose has God given each gender" stance.
The purpose of both, in general, is to take care of creation, enjoy blessings from it, and have children. However, they are not originally given roles separate from one another. They are given interconnecting roles. I have heard this described before as a dance. She is made to be his helper in ruling. This means she has an active leadership role in the world no matter what. He is to leave all to be with her, recognizing his need to be rejoined with his helper (Genesis 2:22-25).

I realize this sounds egalitarian. But just wait. The nature of Adam and Eve's relationship should be termed interdependence. However, just as they are dependent on one another, so they are also dependent on God-for sustaining all of creation, including themselves. Both are below God and on the same level.
This informs us of the relationship between men and women in the home, as they need to recognize their interdependence on one another and their mutual dependence on God. But then how can the man be the head of the woman? (I Corinthians 11:3) I would argue that this passage has to do with the man being the spiritual leader of the household. Though both are dependent on God, the man is given a special obligation to imitate Christ in his love for the church towards his wife. This is true headship. I could go on forever about the numerous ways in which Christ's love is displayed towards His church. The most striking is in his willingness to lay down his life for her. How about some men who are so passionate about leading their families spiritually that they serve and love their wives?

The female response to this must be to submit. Even as I type that word I cringe. It has been so misused. This submission is anything but passive. Love does not demand a response, but certainly asks for one. True submission is doing what the church so often fails to do: to be imitators of Christ in self-sacrificing good works, to follow His example, and to listen to his words respectfully. Not to simply do whatever he tells us to do just because we think we should. Our hearts need to be involved in the matter.

So women need to respect their husbands. Not in a "should" sense, but in a responsive sense.
As for ordination, might I say that there was not a social structure in place at creation, as there was only one man and one woman. When many people are involved, the situation needs to be re-assessed. Therefore, I would not apply the creation account to church leadership, but rather to the marriage relationship, as that is how it is explained in the end of Genesis 2.

Instead, I would look at passages on church structure. Much is said in the way of different members performing different God-given functions. In these passages, no distinction is noted between men and women (I Corinthians 12, Romans 12, etc.). In interpreting prophesy, however, women are encouraged to learn in silence (I Corinthians 14:34-35). This social prohibition is coupled with a connection to the husband-wife bond. The woman is encouraged to learn, but not to declare the word of God directly (as interpreting would do). This can be linked to the passage in I Timothy 2:8-15. Again, women are encouraged to learn, to be submissive, and not to exert authority over a man.

There is a part of me that still wants to rile against this! But I believe it is because of the connotations I have with the words used. submit does not mean be a doormat. Not having spiritually authority does not mean being un-empowered. Women should learn so that they can teach other women. Women should learn so that they can lead alongside the Adams by doing good works. Women can love men actively by listening respectfully, being supportive, and offering assistance. None of this makes women inferior. This makes women some strong, powerful influences in the church. God wants to use men to preach His Word; He wants to use women to learn and practice His word. And both can learn from each other how to do the other function in appropriate contexts.

You are a Failure

Failure. The word can have a haunting ring to it. I think it is one of Satan's most deadly weapons. If he can keep us in self-berating, depressing thought cycles, he can inhibit us from God's work. He may not be able to crush our faith, but he can distract us if we allow him to.

I had a dream a number of years ago. I was in an interrogation room, dimly lit, with a suave-looking business man. He was friendly, charismatic, and seemed to know much about my life story. He told me God was not going to stand up for me because of all I had done which demonstrated disloyalty to Him.

I protested, but could not formulate any coherent arguments. All I could sputter in my panic were things such as, "but I have faith!" and, "I know I've been disloyal, but I've tried." Lame, I know.

A few weeks later, I had a follow-up dream. This time the same man (Satan) was in my church, in the stairwell, telling me that God did not love me. Three times he told me this, and each time God brought a scripture verse to mind. I quoted John 3:16, telling him that God does love me and sent his Son for me. I talked about how God is love and then, at last, I stated firmly that I had done wrong, owning all of it, but I told Satan that God's love was more powerful than my sin.

There have been many times I have failed: in relationships, in missing deadlines, in paying my bills (before the days of Paypal ;), in leadership, and most of all, in my relationship with God. In my younger days, I failed God by not always standing for the truth. More recently, I fail Him by choosing self-leadership instead of allowing His word and Spirit to guide me.

Besides the fact that I'm sure you've deduced I have some psycho-spiritual issues going on, there is an underlying theme to my dreams and the times in my life when I've felt depressed: it is a fear that my failure must somehow separate me from God. Theologically, I know this to be very untrue.

God's love really is more powerful than sin. It is certainly more powerful than failure. In fact, it is thinking very much of ourselves and the impact we have in the broader scheme of things to imagine that our failures are so big. The phrase, "pride goes before a fall" rings true not just in leading to foolish action, but also in  leading to emotionally turbulent waters. When we trust in ourselves, and then find ourselves to be fallen, we can become stuck in that place like a slough of despondency (a-thank-you John Bunyan for this illustration).

God does not want us to remain there. This is why we need not only love, but grace. It is by love that God wins our hearts, but it is by grace that He saves our souls. God's grace does not make us perfect all at once so that we can be with God (eitherwise we would be with Him today), but it takes its time. Each failure can become a teaching moment instead of a burden. We can face the ugliest parts of ourselves with the confidence that God still loves us. We can trust that all that we have done wrong yesterday, today, and tomorrow has already been paid for.

I love Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray as an illustration of this (albeit a negative one). A painter friend makes a portrait of Dorian in his youth. He is "unspoiled" by the world and, to all appearances, fairly innocent. As he begins to dabble in disreputable lifestyle  choices, however, such as spending time in opium dens, with prostitutes, and even eventually committing murder, something curious occurs. The portrait is marred and disfigured to reflect what Dorian has inwardly become.

The real Dorian, however, retains his outwardly innocent, youthful visage. The truth is that we, like Dorian, do not wear our sins on our faces. Our darker sides hide within, and we can only see them when reflected in God's word. If I really ask myself if I am living a lifestyle that reflects both thoughts and actions which are peaceful, patient, kind, etc, I conclude that my portrait begins to look like Dorian's.

I have a leering grin, greedy eyes, and a devious brow. It is only by continuing to come back to God, trusting in His love and grace, wherein I am changed. The grin becomes a grimace before it can become a genuine smile. The eyes become filled with sorrow before they can brightly twinkle. My brow must be stitched in agony before it can relax in contentment.

So if you ever ask yourself if you are a failure: well, you are. I am, too, for that matter. The good news is that God's love and grace are not dependent on our success. They are dependent on who He is, and that does not change.

Being Christ-like on the buses

I take the bus. A lot. I have had ample opportunity to observe the strange sociological workings at many different points in the day. Human nature tends to rear it's ugly head as everyone wants to be first and have the best seat, but few are willing to be the hero.

Every so often, someone will graciously offer their seat to someone standing. What shocks me, however, is the number of times this does not happen when it should. When a mother with a child comes on the bus, or an elderly person, it should be second nature to give up one's seat to those in need, morally speaking.

It appears, however, that our human morality is revealed as a pathetic garment, or as Isaiah 64:6 puts it, "filthy rags." Repeatedly those sitting down do not do this. Repeatedly people will stand near the front of the bus, blocking those trying to get on, with no sign of ever moving until the bus driver aggressively insists they make room or move back.

My conclusion is this: left to our own devices, humanity does not care for it's own. It's an evolutionistic, dog-eat-dog world out there. But this is not the end of things. Oh no.

When Jesus Christ came to earth in the form of a human being, being subservient to the Father, he demonstrated a better way. It is the way of grace. Instead of fighting for our rights and our place, we should be looking for who we can serve around us. 

We are exhorted to, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). Maybe this is not the most expedient way. Maybe it means we need to inconvenience ourselves, to stand and be rocked to and fro so that someone else can be comfortable. Maybe we need to ask ourselves who we need to be willing to give our seat up for today. 

Who is the Holy Spirit?

Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Most in America have heard of the trinity and quite possibly could name the three persons that make up the one God. Some may picture the Father as a Zeus-like figure hiding in the clouds. Some may picture the Son as a 30-year old Caucasian male with blue eyes and a beard. But when it comes to the Holy Spirit...no one has a clue, so it seems.

Growing up in a church that taught the trinity over and over again, I began to notice a pattern. People would talk about God, the Father, being in charge of all things, creating the world and ordering it according to His Divine purposes. The Son was part of the Father's plan: when God came to humankind as a man because imperfect humans could not approach the perfect Father.

Oh yeah, and the Holy Spirit was there, too. He was hovering over the waters at the beginning of time in Genesis and came like a dove during Jesus' baptism. He was the one who filled everyone up at Pentecost so that they could speak many languages at once.

The Holy Spirit, however, is often shunted aside or not mentioned. I read a book once called Worship, Community, and the Triune God of Grace where James B. Torrance calls for worship in the church that involves the whole Trinity. The problem is, though some people may understand God is just, holy, and merciful, and think about Jesus as forgiving and kind, they don't know how to think about the Holy Spirit. They simply haven't been taught.

Some churches deal with this by over-emphasizing the Holy Spirit in His gift-giving ability, some churches are so afraid of doing that they do not teach the Holy Spirit at all.

The Holy Spirit is not some magic power we tap into. He is a person of God, part of the three in one. If Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us, the Holy Spirit is God within us, as best as we can place it with English prepositions. The Holy Spirit is the one who comforts, who counsels, who directs our thoughts back to the Father and works to convict us of our sin.

We are reunited with God the Father through Jesus the Son and our connection to God is sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13). We can never be separated from God because of the third person of the trinity. That is worth teaching in today's evangelical churches.