From the time we are children we are under authority. At first, this is out of necessity. We have many needs we are not even aware of and cannot meet on our own. Supervision and guidance are necessary to care for, protect, and teach a child.
In light of this, it seems natural that children should submit to their parents. I am sure every parent would laugh at that statement. Children do not naturally submit, nor do adults. Nor do most people I know, myself included.
For example, I often catch myself disregarding signs and precautions as though they were put there for someone else. Parking regulations, “do not enter” signs, rules and regulations given by figures of authority which I don’t see a need for--I tend to treat these with nonchalance. This tells me I have a natural aversion to submission in my heart.
Objectively we can see the theoretical need to submit- to each other in the body of Christ, to authorities God has placed over us, as children to parents and as wives to husbands. If there is not submission, there is anarchy and disorder. If no one makes the rules and no one plays by the rules, society and homes end in chaos.
Allow me to give an illustration: If students in a classroom setting, or employees in a corporate setting, choose not to submit to the given authority, what ensues? Students will begin to talk over the teacher, throw things at each other, walk in and out of the classroom as they please, antagonize one another, and the learning environment will disintegrate. Employees will begin to take longer breaks, come late to meetings if they choose to come at all, become less productive, and thus the company will begin to suffer.
These are examples in a wider setting, but submission is also important in all relationships. In Ephesians, believers are encouraged to greet one another “in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord,” while also “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (5:18-21). Submitting to each other is part of showing reverence for God and building each other up.
Submission is an act of the will, and cannot be cultivated externally. One person making another submit is not a lesson-it is oppression. Submission must happen first in our minds- to God, and then to others, out of principle, and this will lead to a right practice of it.
So what does it look like to submit to one another? When Jesus’ disciples are arguing about which one of them is the greatest, He admonishes them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:33-37).
To submit is to serve the other. This does not mean simply performing menial tasks for others. Rather, it is a privileging of others’ thoughts, opinions, needs, interests, etc. above one’s own. This can be done in the way we approach one another, speak to one another, and respond to one another.
Admittedly there are specific relationships where Biblically submission is directly prescribed, such as in Ephesians 5:22-24, where wives are implored to submit to their husbands, “as to the Lord.” Submission is very telling about our relationship with God. If we truly trust Him, then we can pray for those in authority over us, and for those around us when we are having trouble submitting. Then we must believe that He is working in their hearts and minds (not just our own!). If we have a pattern of not submitting to others in our lives, this is most likely indicative that we are not really trusting God.
To clarify, I think submission is going to look different in different kinds of relationships, as a woman is not going to submit to her husband in exactly the same way as she did to her parents when she was younger. The nature of that relationship is different. The principle, however, is the same.
I also want to say what submission is not: it is not pretending that we do not have any needs, nor is it dismissing our own thoughts, opinions, etc. as unimportant. Rather it is being able to discern those moments when we can bend to the other because perhaps what we think is not the most important thing. We should act out of conviction, not impulse, seeking to serve, not to be the master.
The best picture of submission is that of Jesus Christ to His Father. He was equal with the Father, but humbled Himself, becoming less by taking the form of a man (Philippians 2). In all He did on earth, He prayed that the Father’s will would be done.
The idea of submission is offensive! If we “give in” to others, they may just think we are a doormat! Well, perhaps. And there are some who may seek to abuse our submissive attitude. At that point it would be wise to address the issue with that person and let them know he/she is taking advantage of us. If he/she doesn’t care, another believer may need to step in to help resolve things. But too often the problem is not that we are too submissive, but that we simply want to preserve our own dignity and reputation. And believe you me, I do speak from personal experience in this matter.
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